Whoa is me #whiteprivilege

Manipulative racists started the phrase “White Privilege” in an attempt to redirect anger for very real problems that do exist in black culture, but they did it to serve an agenda.  That agenda is to misinform the black culture from where the actual problem originates.

Indulge me and lets take a look back in history, not that far back, I’m talking about the 1990’s.  There were two major movements that defined the 1990s.  There was 1.  an acknowledgement from youth of all colors that a problem exists.  We learned about it as we listened to a very informative gangsta rap movement which opened our eyes to issues most white culture did not know existed.    The music and lyrics saturated the radio airways.  We heard anger which was rightfully directed towards a corrupt system created by corrupt politicians, a corporate system that is designed to suppress those they feel are too lazy to overcome the obstacles they deliberately created to prevent upward movement, and law enforcement  who routinely abuse their badges.  We heard you.  We understood you.  We agreed with you.  Then there was 2.  A peaceful integration lead by the 1990s youth.

In the 1990’s I remember smiling as I watched all races intermixing.  There was a lot of love.  There was a lot of peace.  There was a lot of acceptance.  Blacks and whites were best friends, lovers and family.  I remember thinking, “Finally!  They’re doing it!  This generation is getting it right!”.  When a horrific situation of racism was displayed to the white population we were thankful that, “It’s almost over.  That old generation is dying off and we are now a united majority”.  We held our breaths together.

Then something happened.  I don’t know who, why or where but like wildfire it spread.  Black men entertaining themselves by using the threat of brawn to intimidate.  Suddenly there was a rising of angry black men who would not hesitate to look at an older white woman and wind back as if to throw a punch.  It happened to my grandmother.  It happened to my mother.  It happened to me.  When it happened to me I did not flinch.  The young black man who intended to intimidate me asked me why I didn’t flinch and why I wasn’t scared.  I told him, “because I am capable of killing you with one punch”, which I am.  I have always lived alone so I learned advance self defense skills.  I’ve never actually tested those moves and I hope I never have to but this doesn’t define the feelings of safety of other women who don’t have my abilities and have experienced repeated aggressive behavior by black men.  He smiled at me in appreciation because I wasn’t afraid of him.  To him it meant I was his ally.  To me, it made him my enemy.

The movement of black men using intimidation and the threat of violence didn’t stop until P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs made an appearance on Oprah.  I’m pretty sure it was probably two separate shows but I can’t remember, either way, both topics were centered around race issues. The thing I remember most about the two segments, and I do believe this is the way it was intended to be remembered by Oprah,  was that Oprah said to her audience, “I want you to look around the room and find a person you would most like to sit next to, and do it”.   After everyone was in place in their new seat, Oprah turned her attention to a young black man who chose to sit next to an elder white woman who appeared to be dressed in luxury brand clothing.  Oprah asked the young man why he chose this woman.  He said,  “because usually when women similar to this see me coming, they clutch their purse, refuse to make eye contact, and rush past me”.  Oprah then asked the elder white woman how she felt about the young black man choosing her.  She smiled.  She said something to the effect that she was happy that he chose her and she welcomed him because it showed his intentions were positive.  At the end of the segment I quote  P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs who looked straight into the camera and said, “Oh hey guys,  quit scaring the little old white ladies”.  He sneered, chuckled and shook his head in a no motion.  That seemed to end it but the damage had already been done.  The “Induce Fear” movement had already successfully convinced white America (especially women) that black men are to be feared because they are dangerous and capable of violence.

Guess what?  We get it.  We understand.  Most of us forgive.. but with caution.   Hollywood, since it’s beginning,  is guilty of demonizing black and brown skin.  I grew up believing that anyone from the middle east is evil and black men are criminals.  Add the “Fear Movement” to a world who has already been taught wrongly, and we’ve wiped away all of the love, peace and integration our 1990s youth were so wonderfully bringing the world.


I was once part of the middle class culture and well on my way to upper middle class.  Between the corporate greed culture  and political corruption (and other dark forces I will not cloud this article with), I am now a member of the poverty class.  I am white.  I have no privilege outside of food stamps which were promptly taken away at the hands of one black female social worker who deliberately did not send me necessary paperwork, and deliberately omitted telling me necessary information that was needed to do to obtain my hand up.  She admitted to doing it and she was promptly fired.  She blamed me for her job loss and called me a snotty white bitch.  It was actually another black social worker who caught the mistake while speaking with me on the phone to try and figure out why I am living on less than $11k/year but am being denied a hand up while I do the hustle every day for 7 days a week to pull myself out of my situation.

I do not have the privilege of any kind of assistance.  I ended up living in my car for 4 months and when my friend found out, I moved into his spare bathroom.  All of the belongings I was able to save were stored next to the toilet and I slept on a couch.  For 20+ years I paid federal and state taxes but for those two years, when I needed it the most,  I was not entitled to my state or federal held funds, which I paid for in the form of taxes,  for the assistance I needed, which is part of what taxation is  supposed to be used for.  To this day I am still tax exempt because I was never able to claim what should have been rightfully mine to help pull myself out from under.  I fail to see where I am privileged.

As a result of my utter despair, I turned to alcohol.  I got in the car and I drove.  I got caught.  My only privilege at that moment was that I had the right to remain silent, which is what I did but I got my ass beat anyway.  Sound familiar?

A black female deputy greeted me at the jail.  Still exercising my privilege to remain silent, she looked at me and yelled, “Are you lost little girl?  Lets get this out the way right now.  This ain’t the Marriott and I ain’t yo bellhop”.  She walked over to me and stood facing me from the side.  She grabbed me by the back of the neck and threw me towards the inside of the jail where I, with my hands in cuffs behind my back, went flying chest first onto the linoleum floor, slid across the floor and crashed into a wall face first.  I was then thrown into a cell and strip searched for the fact that I had a ring on my finger that over time I was not able to remove.  I had been wearing it since I was a young adult and I was now a fully matured adult.  It stayed on my finger as my hands grew.  I ended up with permanent nerve damage at  c-1/ c-2 spine.  To this day my left hand and my right foot do not function properly.  Broward County Jail, Fort Lauderdale, Florida.   I fail to see where my white privilege served me here.

While I was being beat up, completely naked, spinning around the floor and being punched and kicked by several officers, one arm up in the air as they threatened to cut off my finger, I continued to remain silent because I knew if anything came out of my mouth it would only get worse.  How did I know?  Because I could hear the cries and screams of a full grown black man in the holding cell next to me.  The difference between my beating and his beating was that his was worse because he continued to call them names, to spit and taunt them, he tried to fight back and brought on a whole new beast to the already pumped up cops who were beating him.  I think it’s safe to say that in that moment, our privileges were the same.  After being bailed out of jail I obtained the arrest report.  I had an additional charge on top of my DUI.  “Assault on a Law Enforcement officer”.  Now, considering that my hands were behind my back and I was silent, common sense tells us that because I was injured someone had to protect them self by falsifying documents.  Does this sound familiar?

I believe law enforcement have come to expect our differences in the way we handled our beatings and allow it to define who we are.  Remember, police operate on the system that, “If you’re not one of us, you’re one of them”.  There are only two responses and two outcomes when dealing with police when you aren’t one of them.  One is to keep your mouth shut and forfeit your rights or you can instigate trouble, fall back on the, “Fear Movement” and fight for your rights.  The later as we all know will get you killed.  It’s your privilege to make that choice and to understand that because I am white, I am not to blame for our two very different beatings. While there may be such a thing as  #privilegetooperateabovethelaw, there’s also the very real fact that you have created a reputation to precede you, and while I admire the momentum of your #whiteprivilege hashtag, the fact is, I am not, nor is an entire race of people like me, your oppressor(s).  I am a survivor right next to you.  WE are victims of corrupt politicians who allow corporate culture and a banking system to manipulate, steal and pat each others backs as they congratulate themselves with each million earned as the 10s of thousands of people like you and me are powerless to go after it and get it back.  WE are victims of corrupt law enforcement fraternities who have the ability to falsify the truth to cover their abuses.  If I or you did what the real oppressors are doing, we’d be in jail.  We are being oppressed by the same demons.  They are using your anger to justify their ability to have the #privilegetooperateabovethelaw.

Fact:  WE are all victims of a corrupt legal system who reviews the above cases and conveniently decide that the officers involved had acted appropriately and within the law.  #privilegetooperateabovethelaw

We also share the same privilege of word manipulation by the media.  YOU believe the “Free-trade” agreement represents the American qualities of freedom to give ourselves a hand up but I know that this agreement was created for only those it benefits and have the #privilegetooperateabovethelaw.  It is the reason we are short on jobs, short on cash, short on paying the cost of living, and why our anger grows TOGETHER as our hunger pangs increase and we don’t seem to be making headway no matter how hard we hustle to overcome.

We need change.  This is evident but let’s do it the right way!  Change #whiteprivilege  to #privilegetooperateabovethelaw, otherwise, we’re only going to continue to escalate your racial tensions, especially in our youth.  Stop poisoning our youth with such toxic words.

No one should not have to defend them self based on the color of their skin any more than you should.  The white race is WITH you and we support you but you make it difficult for us to hang in there with you when you demonize us.

There will always be prejudice.  There will always be people who work against you, against me, against anyone with brown, black, red, white, orange, purple skin.  It comes from each and every one of us.  Don’t turn your supporters into your enemies.  It’s not a white race or white privilege that is against you. What is against you is being apathetic to fight a culture that has the #privilegetooperateabovethelaw.


The Mental Disease of Late-Stage Capitalism

Written by Joe Brewer

I’ve been talking with a lot of my friends recently — in private where they felt comfortable letting their guard down — about the dirty little secret no one is supposed to talk about.

The shame people feel when they can’t find a job…

…or pay their bills.

…or go to the dentist.

…or that they have to move back in with their parents.

…or they can’t afford to have children.

We are supposed to pretend, in this stupendously individualist culture, that it is our fault. The buck stops here. I am responsible for my failings in life.

Of course this is demonstrably not true. We are merely living through late-stage capitalism and our parents lacked the foresight to warn us about it. When a population explodes — as the human one did throughout the last century — eventually all manner of social institutions become over-crowded. From there, it’s simply a numbers game.

Want that awesome job? Stack your resume next to the hundreds of other people applying for it. Hoping to get into college? You’ll have to pay out the nose in student loans (if, that is, you were fortunate enough to get through admissions). Thinking of buying a house? You’re too busy paying rent in a skyrocketing market of housing prices.

But yeah, be sure to blame yourself. It’s obviously your fault.

Seriously though, we should have seen this coming. Build an economic system based on wealth hoarding and presumed scarcity and you’ll get what was intended. The system is performing exactly as it was designed to. That is why wages have stagnated in the West for 30 years. It is why 62 people are able to have the same amount of wealth as 3.7 billion. It is why politicians are bought by the highest bidders and legislation systematically serves the already-rich at the expense of society.

A great irony of this deeply corrupt system of wealth hoarding is that the “weapon of choice” is how we feel about ourselves as we interact with our friends. The elites don’t have to silence us. We do that ourselves by refusing to talk about what is happening to us. Fake it until you make it. That’s the advice we are given by the already successful who have pigeon-holed themselves into the tiny number of real opportunities society had to offer. Hold yourself accountable for the crushing political system that was designed to divide us against ourselves.
The mental disease of late-stage capitalism is shame, the devastating feeling that we failed ourselves in the Land of Opportunity.

This great lie that we whisper to ourselves is how they control us. Our fear that other impoverished people (which is most of us now) will look down on us for being impoverished too. This is how we give them the power to keep humiliating us.

I say no more of this emotional racket. If I am going to be responsible for my fate in life, let it be because I chose to stand up and fight — that I helped dismantle the global architecture of wealth extraction that created this systemic corruption of our economic and political systems.

Now more than ever, we need spiritual healing. As this capitalist system destroys itself, we can step aside and find healing by living honestly and without fear. They don’t get to tell us how to live. We can share our pain with family and friends. We can post it on social media. Shout it from the rooftops if we feel like it. The pain we feel is capitalism dying. It hurts us because we are still in it.

But those billionaires who rigged the game don’t get to tell me what I should or shouldn’t say to my friends. If I am struggling financially it is because the financial system is morally corrupt. This truth is a mantric elixir — repeat it to yourself every time the habits of your mind whisper that it is your fault.

You are not to blame for the wealth hoarding of others. That is one burden you don’t have to carry any longer. Be healed. Find your strength. Speak your truth. And let the cascades of change unfurl across society.

We cannot begin the work of building new economic systems until we take off the mental shackles of the old ones. So let your shame fall away. Remember your pride in learning and growing as a person, loving life and other people, being with friends, and pursuing your dreams. Then hold tight to these feelings as you set clear intentions about how the future must be different from the past.

We can do better. We must do better. It might be true that capitalism as we know it is going the way of history. I say good riddance. Whatever good it might have done is in the past now. Moving forward will be a grieving process — and each of us needs to pay close attention to the feelings inside of ourselves. We are the capitalist system right now. But not for long.

The pain we feel is like that tugging of skin for the serpent as it sheds an outer layer. Deep inside ourselves we are human beings, which is about so much more than the money we have in the bank or the things we buy at the store. As we shed ourselves of the immoral economic ideology of insatiable greed (that has made the elites around the world very sick indeed!), let us remember our true nature and begin to heal.

Onward, fellow humans.
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Activism & Social Media/ Election 2016

As someone who is preparing to expatriate, I can no longer tolerate the atrocities politicians have committed against not just it’s own citizens but people all over the world. All but a small handful are suffering at the hands of one single fraternity called THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT, Inc., and it’s obsolete, “ask not what your country can do for you..” mental conditioning that plagues our citizens 50 years beyond it’s relevance.

When the fuck will the majority get off their lazy asses and rise above this and bring it all down?  I mean, seriously, what the hell is wrong with our youth in that they actually believe social media is going to help create change?  I’m sorry but a meme is not powerful.

To those who believe a meme is powerful, ask yourself, what inconvenience does a meme cause to our political offenders?  What noise does a meme make to our political offenders ears?  What senses does a meme touch in the eyes, ears, nose and skin of our corrupt politicians?

Ask yourself, what’s more powerful? A picture? or standing in front of the White House in bright colors, holding a sign or a banner, screaming your pain across the white house lawn and beating on a drum, one angry fist pound per every wrong this country has committed against every single citizen in the world?

I’m not against social media “activism” I’m against it’s laziness, it’s lack of voice, it’s lack of masses and it’s lack of inconvenience to our oppressors.  It’s powerless.

THIS is power….  stand before your corrupt government and make some real noise!

Don’t call yourself an activist until you actually become active!

Stop being afraid to admit you are poor as if you should be shrouded in negativity and insults for being a human being trying to survive in a world that’s been manipulated by this fraternity called THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT, Inc.   More than 90% of the world is poor.  More than 50% of Americans are poor and our unemployment rates are much higher than what the government wants the world to believe.  I live in the beach area in South Florida.  Some may think that because we live in a prettier part of town, we must be living in luxury but the truth is, over 45% of my neighborhood is unemployed and using sites and aps like ebay, letgo, craiglist and are having garage sales to float by month to month.  Being poor, under employed or unemployed should not be used as an insult.  It’s not our faults.  Its a fact of life in 2016 due to greedy politicians and their financial hoarding policies.

Don’t be afraid to apply for food stamps, welfare or medicare/medicaid or to admit it.  Our government pays the Chinese government over $85 billion per year to help Chinese citizens find employment, create employment and ship their cheap goods to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Inc, all the while, the job markets in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Inc are pretty close to nonexistent.  If UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Inc spent $85 billion per year on it’s own citizens, we would have jobs, food, stable financial status and less mental health issues.  Being poor, under employed or unemployed should not be used as an insult.  Its a fact of life in 2016.  Need help, receiving a hand up or a hand out should not be used as an insult.  It’s a way of life for the majority in 2016.

The longer we continue to use social media as a means of protest and fail to make politicians uncomfortable, the longer and worse our suffering will be.

Election 2016:  Trump will not save you.  He preaches hate.  Clinton will not save you.  She’s part of the administration that put you in the poor house to begin with!  Your vote doesn’t count anyway, the electoral college is bought and paid for, popular vote means nothing.  Ask Al Gore.  Then start asking what your country can do for you and not what you can do for it.  Those days are OVER!


A meme is only a powerful statement in the world of art.  Not politics.

Balmain F/W 2016

Balmain F/W 2016

My daughter, a teenager, is in the habit of changing outfits in the mirror several times before she leaves for the day. Nothing makes it back into the closet, it’s in piles strewn all over her unmade bed.

I’m not sure how many women wake up in the morning and decide they’d like to dress like their daughters mussy bed, but it appears Balmain believes there must be at least one mussy Mom out there!

Balmain apparently also believes the average woman wants to look like tacky furniture and tacky furniture dressings.

I am not a fan of curtain fringe, tacky lampshades and pre-teen decor but where there is a tacky woman, she has a tacky designer.

Untitled-1 copy





…but out from the tacky darkness floats in, like angels descending from the heavens, this pastel pink flowing hourglass jacket to bring redemption to Balmain’s frightening fall – winter runway show.

As a middle age woman, who is quite possibly the only woman who can afford Balmain’s prices,  I could see myself wearing this lovely jacket.

If it were a gift :)


What is ebays relationship to China?

If someone could please explain to me eBays love affair with china, I would appreciate it.  I need to know why I won’t be able to eat this week and can’t afford to buy the things most people take for granted like Shampoo.

Today I searched for the keyword, “dress” in the SOLD (not to be confused with completed) auctions section. After browsing 14 pages of 194 results per page, I did not see any sold dresses from sellers whose origin is China. Ebay customer service has explained to me on several occasions that the best match algorithm is designed to feature highly sought after items and since Chinese manufacturers offer the lowest prices and free shipping on the back of the USPS and American tax payers, their items appear as top priority.

This leaves me to wonder, with my limited knowledge of current events, is the United States government paying Chinese debt on the backs of unemployed, under employed, the needingly self employed Americans which are also the same home based micro eBay businesses we are involved with?

I have a hard time accepting this. Of the many reasons, one of my biggest reason is my loss of dental care. When I was in high school a dentist gave me a silver filling. Under the new filling, 20 some odd years after, it was discovered that the dentist did not remove the entire cavity before covering it with the silver filling. It was discovered when one morning I awoke to a jaw I wanted to rip off my face because the pain was so intense that I was ready to maul myself to end it.   It was impossible for me to know anything was present before my need to rip my jaw off my face because I had always taken great care of myself, had dental insurance and even though I had annual visits to the dentist, the decay was covered by a filling and went undetected for years.   What I suffered from is called, “trench mouth”. You can’t ever get rid of it.  Ever.  You have to continue antibiotic therapy and dental care on a monthly basis, which I did for years and successfully evaded any further issue, that is until I lost my health and dental insurance in the bottom of May 2009and I have not received dental care since.   I now have 4+ and 5+ gum recede as well as full on dental caries.   I am in my 40s and am losing all of my teeth because I can not afford dental care.

I am an ebay seller in the ranges of 111 and 121 and stand very little chance at earning enough to eat let alone visit a dentist. Chinese manufacturers who have full time visibility 24/7 at a range of 300 are grossing 89.9 billion dollars per year, and here I am, an American born citizen…..  le sigh

I believe that money is going to the Chinese government and not any Chinese home based micro seller who depends on every possible resource to get by like the American sellers who are not just fighting a case of just dental blues but we’re fighting for our lives and our very survival.

Many of us are college educated with 1, 2 and even 3 degree’s but because of reasons we did not deserve and was out of our control, we were out of  work too long.  We became a part of the permanently unemployed population and instead of going on welfare we decided to FIGHT.

Being a part of the permanently unemployed population makes one realize their true place in this world. It makes you realize how low priority and nonessential your life really is, just like our auctions.

I wish I had family (I am a sole survivor) to fall back on in times like this. It’s rather unfortunate.

Why is this seller [screen shot below] and the thousands of sellers from China just like this one [screen shot below] owning so much more priority over Americans?  Why does eBay, Google, Amazon and Yahoo think they are so much more important than we are?  It’s not even sell through and money talking right here. $2 dresses x 555 sales = $1110.00 for the month.

I sold 20 items this month for a total of $900.00 – not enough to get the bills paid but enough of a carrot to dangle before my hopes are dashed completely.  Good luck getting the bills paid. I would think that if I didn’t spend every waking moment of my day, pinning my auctions to Pinterest and Facebook and anywhere else I can find, I would be lucky to have any at all. Had eBay featured it’s small American sellers at the top; $45 average cost x 555 sales = $24,975.00 and a healthy mouth.


On the other side of that search are the live listings. I looked at the sell through of the “top priority” dresses, all of which are based in china. The information I am writing about is visible on auctions that show “more than 10 available/4 sold”…. 4 sold in 2 months doesn’t seem very highly sought after. I mean, the blue/gold vs black/white dress that caused all of the stir a few months back wasn’t even listed on eBay and it sold out in less than 2 hours of the viral post. These Chinese dresses are given the same amount of traffic and viral views but barely any of it sells.

OK so maybe my auctions aren’t the best (link below) but I equally as hard if not harder than eBays golden high priority  Chinese sellers .  I do not have access to cheap materials and supplies but I do my homework and try to list clothing items I know people will like.  They aren’t fake, they don’t rip at the seams before laundering and they stand the test of time which is not something the Chinese manufacturers can say.  It’s unfortunate that no one see’s anything I have listed, like the Chanel, Gucci, Ferragamo, Escada, Ralph Lauren, Iisli, St John and Valentino fashions I can’t give away for a loss at $29.99…  It’s not even that I can’t give them away, it’s that eBay won’t allow anyone to know they are there because am not worthy aka low priority.



The above feedback profile is that of a low priority ebay seller who is fighting lost teeth and nail for a chance to succeed.

Just one of the many dresses I couldn’t GIVE away for $9.99 on ebay…